The Enchanted Scarecrow
by Zombiifissh
Summary: Wherein Kakashi is lonely, and in need for some comfort, but is unwilling to reach out. KakaIru. A cute fairytale fic about Kakashi's deadly secret he's been hiding from the village and those closest to him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Yo! Well, guys, this is my first Naruto fic, and I wanted to write something that wasn't all fluff and crap. It'll still have fluff, but I like this idea I've got going on, so here it is. Kakashi's got a slight problem (AND IT'S NOT SEXUAL), and Iruka is assigned on a mission to help him with it and all that jazz. (Yes, this fic is KakaIru, so deal with it XD) This surprised me. Usually I'll have the fic done before I post it here, but this one is just this chapter currently! Rated T, but I might bump it up depending on later chapters that haven't been fleshed out yet. Wells, here's the goodies! COOKIES RAWK!

He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the familiar light of morning. Sitting up, he realized he'd fallen asleep at his kitchen table reading a book. He groaned—there was a kink in his neck—and stretched out his arms. Glancing over, he noticed the clock on the wall.

"Oh no! I'm gonna be late!"

Iruka Umino jumped from his chair at the table and rushed out the door, sweeping up his brown hair into a high ponytail and grabbing stacks of paperwork he'd done the night before. He darted down the streets, apologizing hurriedly to anyone he happened to bump into.

Panting slightly, he made it to the Hokage tower just in time to settle into his chair before people started coming in with their reports and requests. He forced smiles at the people who came in, fighting his fatigue and wishing the Fifth didn't make him work weekends, not for the first time. He'd just have to put up with it until she could find a weekend replacement, he guessed, sighing.

"Something wrong?" an amused, cool voice said. Iruka looked up to find Kakashi Hatake looking benignly down at him.

"Ah? Oh, no, Kakashi-san, nothing's wrong," Iruka said quickly with a smile. "I'm just tired, that's all. You don't need to concern yourself with me," he said brightly. "Do you have a report to hand in?" '_Please_ don't let him be late on it again…'

"Actually, I do." Kakashi handed Iruka a set of papers and smiling behind his mask at Iruka's surprise. "You seem like you didn't expect me to have these," Kakashi said, sounding amused. "It's like you don't trust me…"

"Kakashi-san! What a horrible thing to say!" said Iruka, indignant.

"Maa, _relax_, Iruka! You really shouldn't skip coffee in the morning if you're tired. It makes you high-strung!" Kakashi joked lightly, waving behind him as he walked away, leaving a very disgruntled Iruka behind in the office.

""""""

Iruka dragged himself through the front door of his apartment wearily. The day had _crawled_ by, and he had had to keep himself from falling asleep at his desk several times before his coworkers had literally kicked him out the door and sent him home. He was mildly irritated at them, but he was too tired to care. He fell into a chair at his kitchen table and slumped his head down onto it.

'Kakashi was right,' he thought, 'I really shouldn't skip my coffee…' He propped his head up on his fist. 'Speaking of Kakashi, why did he hand in his mission reports on time this time? That's really not like him. Maybe something's wrong with him..?' He shook his head. 'Ah, but it's none of my business. I shouldn't pry into other people's lives,' he thought, yawning. Getting up, he decided the best course of action was just to sleep and walked to his room, where he collapsed on the bed. Dreamless sleep soon followed him.

""""""

Kakashi strolled around the town leisurely. It was getting late, but he felt no inclination to hurry back home. It was a nice night out, and he wanted to take it easy and drink up the serenity of his first night back to the village after his most recent mission. There were very few people still out at this hour, and even they were yawning and grumbling about how hard their work was that day or something to that effect. Kakashi supposed they must be heading home and paid them no heed.

Wandering aimlessly through the winding streets of Konoha, Kakashi became lost in his thoughts. He didn't really sift through and analyze them like he normally did, however; he just recounted the relatively peaceful day he'd just had and smiled to himself. He looked up to the sky, which was clear and star-filled. He stared up at the sky as he walked, not really paying attention to where he was going.

He blinked in surprise when he found himself in front of the familiar memorial he would stand by every morning before going out to meet his team of genin. Well, not surprise, really, but he didn't realize just where he was going until he'd gotten there. Shrugging, he decided to stay a while and relax. That is, until he felt a painful sensation spreading lightning-fast through his entire body.

With a shock, he remembered what day it was. It was his twenty-seventh birthday. He groaned through his teeth, dearly wishing he had gone straight home and locked the door. How could he have forgotten? He watched with dismay as his body began to change, and collapsed onto the cool grass, absolutely motionless.

"""""""

So, how's the first chapter, guys:D Hehe, I get some strange sense of gratification when I hurt one of the characters I like. Does that make me weird?? XD Anywho, R&R, please? I'll giveses you preciouses!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: HEY GUYS!! I feel a bit hyper and bored, and mix that with coke, and you've got yourself a happy fanfiction writer! O.O OMG I FORGOT I BORROWED A VIDEO GAME FROM MY FRIEND!!! –dashes off, comes back a week later- heh heh… sorry about that… nn; Well, I'll get back to writing now! Oh! Yeah, thankiees to all the people who reviewed my first chapter! –hands out rings- keeps the preciouses safe, yessss, we mussst…

**Jorg- Omg you are a retard…**

…**So? XD**

Iruka woke up to the sunlight beaming down onto his face. The rest of his body underneath his blankets was comfortably warm and he didn't want to get up, but there was no excuse for laziness in his book. A teacher must set an example, he thought rather cheerily as he sat up. He sighed and stretched as he looked out the window. It looked like it would be a good day, so he decided to take a walk after showering and dressing.

Iruka walked the town casually, waving good-naturedly and chatting with the people he passed. He hadn't eaten yet, so he figured he could go and meet his favorite blonde-haired student at the Ichiraku Ramen stand. Glancing at the sky, he guessed that Naruto would probably still be asleep at this hour, so he headed the other way, towards the outskirts of the town. After socializing a bit, he wanted a quieter route.

He drifted almost lazily through the path cut through the trees, looking around and enjoying the countryside view. He slowed to a stop as he neared the memorial stone that Kakashi always loitered around. He looked around, half-expecting the silver-haired jonin to come morphing in out of the shadows, but all he saw was a tattered old scarecrow lying on the ground facedown. He paused and cocked his head. Why was there a scarecrow here? The only farms the village had were on the other side of town, and none of them had scarecrows as extravagant (as far as scarecrows go) as this one. Iruka picked up the scarecrow and turned it over, revealing its front side.

It was very well made, if a little dirty from the ground. Iruka chuckled, the detailed scarecrow had been made to look like Kakashi, and Iruka found the pun rather amusing. He wondered who would have the time to do this, though, as the scarecrow was very well done. One of his students, perhaps? Or maybe another of the chuunin or jonin had a crush on him? Well, whatever it was, Iruka couldn't puzzle out why they would leave such a pretty work of art behind. He stood up, bringing the scarecrow with him. He blinked, surprised; the scarecrow was even the same size as Kakashi! These people had really done their homework! Whoever they were, he respected them for being so precise with their research and measurements, even if it was a bit creepy. He paused, thinking that he shouldn't just leave the scarecrow on the ground; it was too skillfully crafted to just leave it in the dirt. He set the scarecrow down against the memorial stone and gathered two slender logs, one much longer than the other. He tied them together, effectively forming a cross shape, and tied the scarecrow's limbs and waist to it. He then mounted it in the dirt next to the trees by the memorial and stepped back, surveying his work. He seemed pleased with it, and glanced back up at the sky. Smiling, he guessed that Naruto should be heading to the ramen stand by now and if he wanted to meet him there, he should get going. He gave a last look at the scarecrow and smiled at it before leaving.

"""""""

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto cried happily as he jumped in front of the brunette excitedly. "Did you come to treat me to some ramen?" he asked, bouncing up and down rapidly. This made Iruka smile.

"You know me too well, Naruto," the chuunin replied, confirming Naruto's wishes.

"Aww YEAH! You're the best, Iruka-sensei!" Iruka laughed and ruffled Naruto's hair, not that it was noticeable with the way it stuck out all over the place, though.

"So what'll it be this morning, Naruto?" Iruka asked. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Same thing as always! Hey, Ayame! Some barbecue pork ramen over here! Three bowls today!" he called. The pretty young waitress smiled at the stand's best customer.

"Three bowls today?" she giggled. "Feeling a bit more hungry than usual this morning, Naru-kun?" Naruto smiled.

"Nope! One's for Iruka!" he replied, pointing and letting the old nickname fly over his head. She smiled as she looked at Iruka, the stand's _second_ best customer.

"I should have known! Treating him again, Iruka?" she said cheerfully. Iruka nodded at the girl, his spirits also high. "Coming right up then!" she said, handing them three bowls of barbecue pork ramen. "Enjoy!" Naruto and Iruka unstuck their chopsticks and began to eat.

"So, Naruto, has anything new and interesting happened lately?" Iruka asked his student. Naruto shrugged and waved his chopsticks dismissively.

"Naw, not really," he said through a mouthful of noodles. "I accidentally tripped and landed on Sasuke when we were walking and I guess Sakura got bumped somehow and blamed me for it so she punched me and look what she did—" here Naruto parted his hair to show Iruka a rather nasty looking lump on his head, coupled with a bruise "—and then I told her that if she didn't quit that, she was gonna give me brain damage, and then Sasuke said, 'Pfft. You've already got brain damage, dobe,' and then I tried to hit him and…" Iruka laughed as he listened to Naruto's story. Nothing had really changed between the three as far as he could tell, except that the team had actually begun to improve on their teamwork a little, which made Iruka very proud of the little knucklehead ninja. "So what's happened to you lately, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka thought. "Nothing really. I've been… Well, I did see a scarecrow this morning by the memorial stone…" he mused. "I propped it up. It was a very detailed scarecrow…" Iruka trailed off as he saw that Naruto had stopped listening and had begun downing his second bowl of ramen. He sighed, smiled, and shook his head, continuing to eat his own ramen breakfast.

After he had parted with Naruto, the rest of Iruka's day passed by rather uneventfully, unless you counted Gai sashaying up to him to ask where Kakashi was so that he could challenge his 'eternal rival in all that is youthful' to an extra-special birthday competition. Iruka had told Gai he hadn't seen Kakashi all day, now that he'd thought about it, and Gai marched off, apparently to go harass other people to find out where Kakashi was. Iruka did not know that it had been Kakashi's birthday until Gai had said something, and took it upon himself to go out to get him a present, but gave up when he realized he had absolutely no idea what to get for him.

By this point in time, it was now well into the afternoon. Iruka went back home to train in his backyard for a while (you can never be too prepared), and killed some time. He walked back inside to shower for the second time that day, chuckling when he remembered some women asking him how he kept his hair so shiny all the time. When he got out, he merely read for a while before going to bed. He fell asleep contentedly, feeling that the only thing to make his day complete would have been to have met Kakashi and have wished him a happy birthday.

"""""""

A few minutes to midnight **(heh heh heh… Linkin Park…)**, all was silent but the shifting of the trees. The wind stirred the leaves in the trees, lost to the darkness in a pitch black sky, only visible at all because of the sparkling stars scattered throughout it. The wind fell still, and there was silence.

Midnight. Kakashi's feeling came back to him slowly; first his toes and fingers, then his hands and feet. Soon his whole body could feel, and he was flesh once more. He was calm about what had happened, it happened from midnight to midnight on every birthday he could remember. At least, he _was_ calm, until he saw that he was tied up to a stick. He growled low in the back of his throat, swearing under his breath as he untangled himself from the post that held him. Who the hell took the time to tie up random scarecrows to posts that weren't there before? He shook off the last of the ropes and began his lonely walk home.

He opened the door to his house, almost wishing for some company when he got there. He didn't have much expertise when it came to social skills, but sometimes found himself wanting to just sit down and talk to somebody. This was one of those times.

It is sad enough to be completely alone on your birthday, but it is much sadder to be Kakashi Hatake on your birthday, because not only did no one (except for Gai and the Fifth Hokage) remember it was his birthday, no one (except for Gai again) wanted to see him in particular. Well, maybe one person, but Kakashi had no knowledge of that.

""""""""

**Heh heh… sorry about the long wait, guys… It's just… with Thanksgiving and all… anyway… Hope you all liked it, and all of that good stuff! R&R please! Reviews make me smile, and help me update faster! I promise! Suggestions would be nice too!**


	3. Chapter 3

Iruka sighed as he dismissed his Academy class for lunch. Only a few of them were interested in what he had to teach today, even though it was one of the more important things a ninja had to know. He pulled out his own lunch from his desk and began to eat.

After class was finally over, Iruka gathered up the papers he needed and walked home with them in his arms. 'I really need a case for these things,' he thought, as he had to hold tightly to them in order to keep them from blowing away in the wind.

It was a blustery November 16, one day after Kakashi's birthday. Iruka was actually hoping to run into the jonin to wish him a late happy birthday, but the thought disappeared when the top half of his stack of papers started to blow away again. He caught them with his right hand, thankfully, and made it home without anymore fuss.

The day was still young, so Iruka decided to put off grading papers for later. He stared out the window to the street outside. The leaves were beginning to fall off of the trees, and it had become colder. Maybe tomorrow he would wear a heavier jacket…

""""""""

Kakashi arrived at the Hokage's office boredly. He didn't have anything to do, and a bored jonin is never a good thing. He knocked on the door and the Fifth's voice floated out from behind the doors. "Enter…"

Kakashi walked into the room with his hands in his pockets. He looked down at Tsunade as she set aside her paperwork, looking glad for the excuse not to do it. "What reason do you have for coming here, Kakashi?" she asked, resting her chin on her fists, which were propped up on her elbows.

"Do we have any new missions?" Kakashi asked back as an answer to her own question.

"Kakashi, it's only been a day since your birthday," she sighed, putting slight emphasis on 'birthday,' knowing what had transpired.

"I know, but I… I need to get my mind off of some things for a while."

"Kakashi. You're not getting any missions. I know what you're thinking, and it's not going to work. I realize you—" Suddenly she got a light in her eyes. "You know what? I think I may just have a mission for you. I'll need you to go keep yourself busy while I prepare it, however." She stood.

"And don't even _think_ about following me, Kakashi, I'll know in an instant and I'm not afraid to pummel you into the ground and not give you any missions. Got it?"

Kakashi nodded, though slightly suspicious of the Hokage's mischievous grin. He walked to the window and climbed through it to sit on the roof while he read his book.

Iruka looked up at a knock on his door. He walked over boredly, wondering who it could be. He opened the door, and found himself standing face to face with the Lady Hokage herself. His eyes widened as he held open the door. What could she possibly be here for?

"Hello, Iruka," she said. "I'd hoped you would be in. Are you just going to stand there staring at me, or invite me in?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Come in," Iruka replied hastily, opening the door wider and allowing Tsunade in. She took off her jacket and looked around, slipping off her shoes. She sat down at the table. Iruka offered her tea, which she refused, and sat down as well, waiting politely for her to speak.

"I won't be here long," she began, "but I came to charge you with a very special mission."

Iruka looked at her in confusion. "Me? Wouldn't a jonin be better suited to a special mission?"

"Don't interrupt me; I haven't even told you to details of the mission yet! Now pay attention. There's a village far to the south of Konoha where I have reason to believe they have an exceptional man by the name of Takeshi Inami. I am in need of the goods he manufactures, and in a large quantity. There shouldn't be that much of a problem with getting there and back safely, but…"

"But… what?"

"But you'll need to take someone with you. And you don't get a say in who it is. You and Kakashi Hatake will be leaving for the village of Nanakama immediately."

Iruka still looked confused. "All right, but why? And what are these goods?"

"Don't question me!" Tsunade snapped. "You'll find out when you get there! Now follow me, you'll need to have a cart to haul the goods back with you."

Tsunade stood and put her jacket and shoes back on. Iruka did the same, his bewilderment not alleviated in the least. "But, Lady Hokage, what about the Academy?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "I'll have Ebisu take care of it… he shouldn't refuse. They'll be fine, and besides, I chose you for this mission, and I'll have no one else. Got it?" Iruka nodded. "Good. Now go get a cart and meet me back at my tower. You've got twenty minutes. Go." And with that, she walked off.

Iruka stared after the woman, the dumbfounded expression still on his face. Shaking his head, he darted away to fetch the cart for Tsunade, wondering if the woman had gone senile.


	4. Chapter 4

Iruka entered the Hokage's office nervously, finding Kakashi already there, patiently reading his dirty, dirty book. He sighed at this; just what did the jonin see in those books anyway? Besides naked women, of course.

Kakashi looked up at him. "Hello, Iruka," he said amiably. Iruka returned his greeting and sat opposite him on the other end of the room, waiting for Tsunade to return.

"Where did she go, anyway?" the brunette asked.

"No idea," Kakashi responded. "She said something about going to get the mission prepared and didn't tell me anything else," he said simply. Iruka was silent.

"Well, do you at least know what we're supposed to be doing?"

"No, she didn't tell me that, either. Do you know?"

"Actually, she did tell me something about going to Nanakama—you know where that is, right?" Kakashi nodded. "Good. Well, she told me we'd be meeting a man there called Takeshi Inami. We apparently need to get a good supply of whatever he sells for Lady Tsunade and bring it back her. She didn't tell me what it was he sells, though…"

"His name sounds familiar… I just can't place where I've heard it before…"

"I know, I felt the same way when I first heard it…"

The door to the office opened then, revealing Tsunade standing there with a clipboard. She tore off a sheet of paper and handed it to Kakashi. It had numbers next to more numbers in two columns on it.

"What's this?" Kakashi asked.

"Your supply list. Don't worry," she added, seeing the confused looks she was getting, "Takeshi will know what I need. Just give him the list and he'll get you the right things. Oh, and you'll be needing money for this…" She pulled out a brown paper envelope and handed it to Iruka. "That should be the right amount. Now, since it's still daylight, I want you two to leave immediately. Okay? Now go." She waved them off.

**A/N: OH MY GOD I'm sorry for the horrendously short chapter here, but I've been having writer's block up the wazoo for this fic. Honestly, it's supposed to be on chapter eight, since I started this one and The Boogeyman at the same time and had been updating them at the same time, but it didn't work out that way. I think I like The Boogeyman better than this one, but once it gets going, I think I'll like this one too. BUT GOD DAMN IT WRITER'S BLOCK SUCKS!!! DX **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: YES! I'M FINALLY WRITING AGAIN!! XD Well, it's about time, isn't it? Anyway, enjoy the newest installment! **

**I think my new favorite word is silly. Because silly is a really fun word. Like, "I feel silly." SAY IT—IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO SAY, I'M SERIOUS! XD That in itself was kinda silly… The phrase "monosyllabic throat noises" is also kinda silly, but is also really fun to say…just like the word duck… and "like a chicken"… BUT I DIGRESS! -laughs- (Jorg: O.o So hyper..!) **

Iruka and Kakashi stopped for the night. They had covered a lot of ground that day, and were now trying to find a place to bathe and sleep for the night. There hadn't been much actual conversation between them, since even though Kakashi wanted to, he couldn't seem to form words around Iruka. It wasn't because he was nervous to speak to the chunin, it was only that he'd discovered that he had absolutely zero social skills earlier that day. So he'd decided to not embarrass himself by attempting to make small talk and feel silly afterwards.

Iruka didn't seem to mind Kakashi's silence, since he just smiled and chattered amiably most of the way, even though most of what Kakashi had done was nodded and made monosyllabic throat noises.

They found a clear pond surrounded by forest on three sides and a small waterfall on the last side, nicely hidden from the cut path through the forest. They decided to sleep here for the night and bathe in the morning, it was too late to do much else. Kakashi started a small cookfire while Iruka pulled some quick-fix rations from his ninja rucksack.

Kakashi was forced to speak as Iruka looked at him and handed him a package of rice and duck. Kakashi took it and looked at it, frustrated with it already. Iruka missed this, as he was already starting to cook his duck over the fire. Kakashi had never been a good cook; in fact, he usually burned all of his food to a certain degree. He sighed and started to cook his duck, forming rice balls with the pre-steamed stuff in the package. Iruka looked up a few minutes later. "Um, Kakashi-san? You do know you're only supposed to warm up your duck, right? It's already cooked…" Kakashi jumped and hastily took his bird off the fire, but it was already burned and crunchy looking on the outside. He sighed in exasperation and shrugged.

"Oh, well. I've never been much for cooking." His eye curved slightly upwards as he laughed, a bit embarrassed. Iruka chuckled with him, it _was_ sort of a funny situation. Kakashi of the Sharingan, former Anbu Black Ops and current jonin, being defeated by a dead duck!

**A/N: Nuuuu! Another horribly short chapter! WRITER'S BLOCK!! DX CURSE YOU!! GOD I HATE WRITER'S BLOCK! **

**Anyone who says that this is like the beginning of that first sex scene in Brokeback Mountain, I will kill them. God that movie was disturbing! I mean, they were just there, minding their own business, and then they just start MAKING OUT for NO FRIGGIN' REASON and then they HAVE SEX (which I usually wouldn't mind, mind you, but one of them looked like a guy I knew, and the other one was OLD!! EEEEWWW!) FOR NO REASON! NO REASON!! AND THEY SOUNDED LIKE DYING COWS!! COWWWWS!!! –cries hysterically-**


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